Brotherhood TV Rides Again
by Red Witch
Summary: The Brotherhood is back with their own show! And the XMen are slowly going out of their minds over it.


**The disclaimer telling all of you that I don't own any X-Men Evolution characters is on some other channel. Seriously, I'm not doing this for the money. I admit it I'm crazy. Here it is, back by popular demand…Okay because I felt like it, another Brotherhood on TV Fic! Yay! **

**Brotherhood TV Rides Again**

"I can't believe this is on the air again!" Scott shouted.

"What I can't believe is that we're watching it!" Rogue said. She and the other X-Men were watching from the living room.

"And welcome back to Brotherhood TV!" Todd called out happily from his desk on the television screen. "The show that tells you the truth about mutants!"

"This is an outrage!" Pietro shouted off screen. "I should be the one at the desk! The show was **my** idea!"

"Hey face it Quickie! I got a higher rating with the viewers here," Todd snapped. "Can't help it if people love the Toad!"

"THOSE LETTERS MUST HAVE BEEN FAKES! FAKES I TELL YOU!" Pietro screamed. "THERE IS NO WAY ON EARTH THAT MANY WOMEN WROTE THOSE LETTERS! TELL THEM WANDA! TELL THEM IT'S GOT TO BE A HOAX HE MADE UP!"

"I'm kind of conflicted here," Wanda said. "On the one hand I'd hate to get my hopes up. I mean realistically speaking…However if there's any chance that **any** girl would want Toad I have to take it. It's worth the risk."

"**Why** did they allow this garbage back on the air?" Scott snapped. "Why? Especially after the fire!"

"Because the viewers **loved **the fire," Rogue moaned. "Their show got a great review in the paper. Of course this is the same critic who thinks that Fear Factor is too tame."

"It was the channels' highest rating in the history of the station," Jamie said. "Of course they would put them back on the air! Well that and they got another hundred bucks to put on another show."

"How much would it take to keep them **off **the air?" Scott asked.  
"And now, because somebody was crazy enough to ask for it," Todd announced. "Pyro's Poetry Corner. Gee I wonder what today's poem is gonna be about?"

"Hello all you poetry fans out there," Pyro waved. "Today's poem is called The Fire Sale." He took out his flame-throwers and pointed to a few various objects on a table. "It's an interpretive piece."

"Oh brother…" Scott winced.

"Ahem," Pyro cleared his throat. "Everything marked down! Mark it all down! Everything has a price! Who cares what it is, sell it! Every thing must go!" He then took out his flame-throwers and set several objects on fire. "Cereal! Must go! Baby Strollers! Must go! Pencils! Paper! Knives! Tables! They're gone baby!"

"They're not the only things that have gone," Rogue remarked. "Pyro's brain for example."

"Who cares what they sell! Just make a quick buck as we burn in…" Pyro began then stopped. "Hey can I say this word on the air?"

"You've said worse and **that's **never stopped you before," Wanda called out. "Pyro you just set one of the cameras on fire!"

"Ooh! Fire cam! Cool!" Pyro said. "Put up what its transmitting onscreen! Cool!"

"You gotta admit that's an interesting special effect," Jamie blinked. "Expensive but interesting."

"Speaking of fire sales, there's a real good one over at Frank's Fire Safety Store," Todd said as he used one of the products to put out the fire. "They got twenty percent off of all fire extinguishers and smoke alarms this week. Go to Franks and buy his stuff. We do."

"By the caseload!" Lance shouted off camera. "Pyro! No! How many times do I have to tell you not to set the curtains on fire!"

"But they're so flammable!" Pyro whined.

"Well that's set back any positive perceptions of the mutant community for at least twenty years," Hank sighed.

"Now that we've increased the insurance premiums of the studio by a hundred percent," Todd remarked. "Let's go over to our fashion segment with Quicksilver! We call this Mutant Eye for the Normal Guy."

"Well at least you gave me an important segment," Pietro grumbled. He was wearing an expensive suit and sitting in a fashionable chair. "Greetings all! It is I! Quicksilver here informing all of you what's hot and what's not about fashion. First off the bat wearing a uniform with an X on it…BA-AAD! Completely wrong!"

"That's not all that's completely wrong," Scott grumbled.

"Now fake fur is completely last season," Pietro said. "But if your body happens to have real fur and it's blue, well darlings you are what's it and what's hot."

"Well that's handy to know," Kurt preened.

"Kurt get a grip," Scott groaned. "There's nothing funny about this!"

"For you normals out there who feel so out of it, here's something to make you feel completely into it!" Pietro grinned. A picture of Duncan with feathers all over him was shown. "It's amazing what a little super glue and feathers can do. Somebody looks **fabulous!**"

"Okay maybe **that's **funny," Scott admitted.

"And now our food critic Freddy gives his reviews on the best places in Bayville to find good grub!" Todd grinned. "Take it away with the Blob Gourmet!"

"Hello!" Fred waved. "This week on the Blob Gourmet I review Big Bubba's Barbecue and it's all you can eat buffet!"

"Uh oh…" Bobby winced. "I think I see where this is going."

"Big Bubba has great food, great service and best of all great barbecue sauce," Fred licked his lips. "Unfortunately for some weird reason it just went out of business."

"And when was this?" Pietro called out. "Right after you left?"

"Yeah how'd you know?" Fred asked.

"I believe the mystery has been solved," Pietro called out.

"Okay…" Todd blinked. "And now here's an editorial with our own Avalanche."

"Oh I can't wait to hear what this is about…" Rogue snickered. "What did you fight about this week Kitty?"

"We did **not **have a fight," Kitty told her.

"Today on Lance's Line of Thought I'd like to talk about relationships," Lance said. "Particularly relationships with our girlfriends. Guys have you ever noticed that your girl expects you to do certain things. Buy her gifts, dress nice…put up with her friends…"

"Here we go," Rogue grinned.

"See she expects you to be sensitive to her needs and understand when she needs to do things like go shopping or see a dorky movie where somebody with a disease dies," Lance went on. "But when it's your turn for her to be sensitive to your needs…Does she reciprocate? If you want to hang with your friends does she consider it 'bonding'? If you wanna watch a movie with a lot of explosions does she put up with it? NO! In fact, whenever you need her to understand **your** needs, she calls **you **an insensitive jerk! Am I right?"

"Lance you are so in trouble…" Kitty hissed.

"And I'm not just talking about romance," Lance went on. "Oh no. This goes **way **beyond that! This is about her expecting you to live up to her expectations! To have her mold you into who you are into some kind of freaking Ken doll without thoughts or opinions of your own! You have to sit on some shelf waiting for her to make up her mind to what's going on in this relationship which takes **forever!** And you have to just sit there and take it and pretend it doesn't bother you while she puts her friends, school, her family and every other stupid thing ahead of **you!" **

"Well…" Scott thought. "He has a point there."

"What do you mean by **that?**" Jean whirled on him.

"Nothing!" Scott gulped.

"You can't seriously tell me that you actually agree with that idiot do you?" Jean snapped.

"Well you gotta admit Jean for once he's pretty right on target!" Bobby said.

"SHUT UP BOBBY!" Kitty and Jean screamed at him.

"What is love anyway?" Lance went on. "Is it a license for a woman to treat a man like her own personal servant? Slowly but surely taking away every little bit of your self-respect and free will until you're nothing but a shell of your former self. Begging for just a scrap of attention from her Royal Highness…"

"I can't believe you actually agree with Lance!" Jean shouted at Scott. "And don't say you don't because I can read your mind, what there is of it!"

"Of course he agrees with him!" Rogue snapped. "He's a guy! All guys stick together no matter how stupid their opinions are!"

"Don't call our opinions stupid!" Kurt snapped.

"Since when do guys have any other kind of opinions?" Rogue snapped.

"I say now we can work together to overthrow this oppression!" Lance shouted raising his fist. "Men of the world unite!"

"The views expressed by this guy are not those reflecting this station!" Todd hopped in front of the camera. "In fact I love my Snookums and I am glad to have her tell me what to do in our relation…OWWWW!" Todd was then hexed off the air.

"I'd like to say something if I may," Wanda said as she appeared on camera. "To any female whatsoever who has any interest in Toad…Call me! I'll set up a date! I swear this isn't a joke! Come on! There's gotta be somebody…**Anybody** who'd take him off my hands!"

"Oh come on sweetie you don't mean that," Todd giggled nervously. "I mean just suppose some girl out there wants to steal me away from you?"

"I'll risk it!" Wanda said. "The number is 555-SAVE WANDA!"

"She's kidding folks," Todd said quickly.

"Again that number is 555…" Wanda began.

"Men! We have to ban together or else our girlfriends will control us forever!" Lance ran in front of her.

"GET OUT OF MY WAY!" Wanda hexed Lance and then proceeded to chase him and Todd around.

"This never would have happened if I'd remained host of this show!" Pietro shouted. "OW! WANDA!"

Xavier wheeled in to see the chaos on the screen and in his living room. "What in the world…?"

Rogue was chasing around Kurt and Bobby. Kitty was screaming at the TV and throwing popcorn at it. Jean had Scott in a headlock. Xavier looked at the mess and scanned the situation with his mind. "I see the Brotherhood is back to their old ways of spreading chaos," Xavier sighed. "And they're getting much better at it!"


End file.
